Wasted Time?

So it's been two years since Jes and I first felt called to move to East Lake and be a part of a church plant near inner city Birmingham. Our house has not sold so we continue to wait and pray. I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that this waiting has been very hard at times. When it's all said and done, we always come back to two things: 1. Our absolute conviction that God told us to prepare to move to East Lake and 2. Our belief that His timing is perfect. As we've passed the two-year mark of waiting, I've been reflecting on this journey and God has shown me very clearly that these have not been wasted years. I thought it might be helpful for me (whether anyone else ever reads this) to put into writing the things God is teaching me...things I feel certain I have learned precisely because of His call and His timing.


1. My family is my first ministry. It's a little hard to admit but I now realize that if we had moved two years ago, I would've quite likely neglected my family for the sake of "ministry". God has taught me so clearly yet so tenderly that my first priority is my family: my husband and my children, in that order. I had envisioned sending my girls to a great private school while I spent my days feeding the hungry, counseling the hurting and reaching the lost. I KNOW that I am and will be called to those things, but FIRST I am called to love and serve my husband, nurture and disciple my children, and create a home for my family. God has NOT been silent or even vague on this in my heart. He has given me a clear call to homeschool our children and has matched His calling with a deep longing to spend my days discipling them. I am overwhelmed with my desire to spend time with my children, to be (with my husband) their primary source of education, direction, and guidance. These years are passing so quickly and I now see that there is no greater privilege, no greater responsibility and no greater calling than discipling my children so that they will know the unfailing love of their heavenly Father and the glorious beauty of the gospel of Jesus. I believe God will impact an entire generation for His glory if we (today's parents) devote these years to pouring into our children and pursuing their hearts for Christ. If we had not been called to East Lake, I'm not sure I would've even stopped to evaluate our educational choices and I can't imagine that I would've ever considered homeschooling (I might have even been known to say I'd "never homeschool". Yeah, I know, I know. I said I'd never drive a minivan either).

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.


2. We have too much stuff. In preparation for moving to East Lake we began getting rid of lots of "stuff". Extra clothes, extra toys, extra furniture. We then began to realize that felt pretty good and started to even give away stuff we use or wear occasionally when we realized God could use our belongings to bless others. Now, hear me when I say, we have a loooooooonnnnnngggg way to go on this one. However, this calling and waiting has made us much more aware of our excess and has prompted us to give away much more than we were before.

Matthew 6:19  “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.


3. Just because we are waiting to move doesn't mean we should wait to obey. After about a year of waiting, Jes and I became convicted that we were starting a lot of sentences with "when we move to East Lake we will _______". In several areas of our lives we were delaying obedience. We began to ask ourselves which things we could do today, right here, right now, and began obeying God in several areas including finances (paying off debt), small group (moving to an off campus house group), and most importantly sharing the gospel and discipling others. Not surprisingly, these have proven to be the very areas where God has blessed us most.

James 4:14, 17 ...yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes; So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.


These are merely highlights of what God has been teaching us but it is so encouraging for me to look over this and be reminded, once more, of my God's faithfulness. Even when I think He's been silent or distant, a brief recap of the past two years proves otherwise! So we continue to pray. Jes has led us to return to God and ask again for His direction. I admit that I was resistant at first. I (we) know we heard God quite clearly in March 2010 but I realized my pride was keeping me from humbly asking again what He might have for us. "Moving to East Lake" has become a part of my identity and quite honestly I would struggle to give that up. I still long to be a part of what God is doing and be where He is working but He is teaching me that He is working in all places, at all times (of course!). More than that, He is showing me that He desires to be with me, and me with Him, and that His love will flow from that into my marriage, my children, my community, and those who don't yet know Him. So instead of waiting "to move" and be a part of God's work, I realize that each day is an opportunity to draw close to Him and have the privilege of seeing Him at work through me.

I trust my husband and I trust my God so is there really any reason not to pray and ask God for direction? Obviously, unless we are CLEARLY told otherwise, we are continuing to prepare to move to East Lake. However, if we are told otherwise, I am thankful that God has opened my eyes to see some of what He's been doing these two years. Romans 8:28 is a solid promise that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. The "good" that is promised is that we will look more like Christ. No matter what we go through, we can trust that God is using it to mold us into the image of His Son. And no matter how the process unfolds, it is NEVER wasted time! And for that I am thankful!