So it's been two years since Jes and I first felt called to move to East Lake and be a part of a church plant near inner city Birmingham. Our house has not sold so we continue to wait and pray. I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that this waiting has been very hard at times. When it's all said and done, we always come back to two things: 1. Our absolute conviction that God told us to prepare to move to East Lake and 2. Our belief that His timing is perfect. As we've passed the two-year mark of waiting, I've been reflecting on this journey and God has shown me very clearly that these have not been wasted years. I thought it might be helpful for me (whether anyone else ever reads this) to put into writing the things God is teaching me...things I feel certain I have learned precisely because of His call and His timing.
1. My family is my first ministry. It's a little hard to admit but I now realize that if we had moved two years ago, I would've quite likely neglected my family for the sake of "ministry". God has taught me so clearly yet so tenderly that my first priority is my family: my husband and my children, in that order. I had envisioned sending my girls to a great private school while I spent my days feeding the hungry, counseling the hurting and reaching the lost. I KNOW that I am and will be called to those things, but FIRST I am called to love and serve my husband, nurture and disciple my children, and create a home for my family. God has NOT been silent or even vague on this in my heart. He has given me a clear call to homeschool our children and has matched His calling with a deep longing to spend my days discipling them. I am overwhelmed with my desire to spend time with my children, to be (with my husband) their primary source of education, direction, and guidance. These years are passing so quickly and I now see that there is no greater privilege, no greater responsibility and no greater calling than discipling my children so that they will know the unfailing love of their heavenly Father and the glorious beauty of the gospel of Jesus. I believe God will impact an entire generation for His glory if we (today's parents) devote these years to pouring into our children and pursuing their hearts for Christ. If we had not been called to East Lake, I'm not sure I would've even stopped to evaluate our educational choices and I can't imagine that I would've ever considered homeschooling (I might have even been known to say I'd "never homeschool". Yeah, I know, I know. I said I'd never drive a minivan either).
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
2. We have too much stuff. In preparation for moving to East Lake we began getting rid of lots of "stuff". Extra clothes, extra toys, extra furniture. We then began to realize that felt pretty good and started to even give away stuff we use or wear occasionally when we realized God could use our belongings to bless others. Now, hear me when I say, we have a loooooooonnnnnngggg way to go on this one. However, this calling and waiting has made us much more aware of our excess and has prompted us to give away much more than we were before.
Matthew 6:19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
3. Just because we are waiting to move doesn't mean we should wait to obey. After about a year of waiting, Jes and I became convicted that we were starting a lot of sentences with "when we move to East Lake we will _______". In several areas of our lives we were delaying obedience. We began to ask ourselves which things we could do today, right here, right now, and began obeying God in several areas including finances (paying off debt), small group (moving to an off campus house group), and most importantly sharing the gospel and discipling others. Not surprisingly, these have proven to be the very areas where God has blessed us most.
James 4:14, 17 ...yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes; So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
These are merely highlights of what God has been teaching us but it is so encouraging for me to look over this and be reminded, once more, of my God's faithfulness. Even when I think He's been silent or distant, a brief recap of the past two years proves otherwise! So we continue to pray. Jes has led us to return to God and ask again for His direction. I admit that I was resistant at first. I (we) know we heard God quite clearly in March 2010 but I realized my pride was keeping me from humbly asking again what He might have for us. "Moving to East Lake" has become a part of my identity and quite honestly I would struggle to give that up. I still long to be a part of what God is doing and be where He is working but He is teaching me that He is working in all places, at all times (of course!). More than that, He is showing me that He desires to be with me, and me with Him, and that His love will flow from that into my marriage, my children, my community, and those who don't yet know Him. So instead of waiting "to move" and be a part of God's work, I realize that each day is an opportunity to draw close to Him and have the privilege of seeing Him at work through me.
I trust my husband and I trust my God so is there really any reason not to pray and ask God for direction? Obviously, unless we are CLEARLY told otherwise, we are continuing to prepare to move to East Lake. However, if we are told otherwise, I am thankful that God has opened my eyes to see some of what He's been doing these two years. Romans 8:28 is a solid promise that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. The "good" that is promised is that we will look more like Christ. No matter what we go through, we can trust that God is using it to mold us into the image of His Son. And no matter how the process unfolds, it is NEVER wasted time! And for that I am thankful!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Guatemala 2011
El Roi: The God Who Sees
San Pedro, Guatemala
November 2011
His name is Abrahm. He is adorable. He smiles easily and melts my heart. He is probably four years old. He has an infection all over his ear and near his mouth. His VBS teacher said it started with a mosquito bite 6 months ago but it is only getting worse.
His brother is Diego. Diego is a fireball. He is energetic and feisty and gives a big thumbs-up when he sees us coming. However, Diego is picked on and bullied. The first day we were there, a boy put him in a headlock and I pulled the boy off. Diego cried and cried. He wasn’t physically hurt but his heart was broken by the rejection of his peers, something that seemed to happen continuously throughout our time there.
Their sister is Ana. She is beautiful. She is quiet and shy. When I sat beside her she sat close, but not touching. Over the next few minutes she inched closer and closer until we touched. I put my arm around her and she looked up at me with a sweet little twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes. When Ana writes, she holds the paper up to her face until it touches her nose. Those beautiful eyes are failing.
Abrahm, Diego, and Ana are orphans. Their mother died and their father abandoned them. Their poor, widowed grandmother struggles to provide for them. In a village of poverty, they are the poorest. They are rejected and outcast. Does anyone even see them? Does anyone see their hurt? Does anyone see their need? Does anyone even notice these little ones at all? God does. He sees them and knows them and loves them. And He told me to tell them so.
God saw Abrahm, Diego, and Ana’s needs and gave us the privilege of sharing with them. We were His ambassadors to San Pedro. We were His messengers. We got to tell them that the God of the universe sees them and He loves them very, very much.
Later that night, Riley shared with me what God had taught her. He taught her that when you give something away (like the shoes she gave to Abrahm), “it’s not about how much I want it, it’s about how much someone else needs it”. What else do we have that is not meant to fulfill our wants but was provided by God to meet someone else’s needs? I look around and realize I have so much. Too much. We give away a bag full of dolls and stuffed animals for other children to enjoy this Christmas and we don’t even miss them. We clean out our closets to donate clothes to the homeless and can’t even remember what was there before. We give away coats and sweaters for families in the inner city and yet we still have plenty to keep us warm all winter. What if we gave sacrificially? That is my prayer for myself and my family this year. It’s my prayer for you, too. That God will show us that He has blessed us so that we can love, give, and share in His name, for His glory. I pray we will give until it feels like sacrifice and then come to realize that when we give for the good of others and the glory of God, it’s actually no sacrifice at all.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27
San Pedro, Guatemala
November 2011
His brother is Diego. Diego is a fireball. He is energetic and feisty and gives a big thumbs-up when he sees us coming. However, Diego is picked on and bullied. The first day we were there, a boy put him in a headlock and I pulled the boy off. Diego cried and cried. He wasn’t physically hurt but his heart was broken by the rejection of his peers, something that seemed to happen continuously throughout our time there.
Their sister is Ana. She is beautiful. She is quiet and shy. When I sat beside her she sat close, but not touching. Over the next few minutes she inched closer and closer until we touched. I put my arm around her and she looked up at me with a sweet little twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes. When Ana writes, she holds the paper up to her face until it touches her nose. Those beautiful eyes are failing.
Abrahm, Diego, and Ana are orphans. Their mother died and their father abandoned them. Their poor, widowed grandmother struggles to provide for them. In a village of poverty, they are the poorest. They are rejected and outcast. Does anyone even see them? Does anyone see their hurt? Does anyone see their need? Does anyone even notice these little ones at all? God does. He sees them and knows them and loves them. And He told me to tell them so.
So we prayed over them. We prayed that God would heal Abrahm’s ear, calm Diego’s spirit, and restore Ana’s sight. He can do that! He is the God Who Sees…and heals and calms and restores. We had the privilege of washing their feet while we told them that Jesus washed the feet of those He loved. We had the privilege of providing new socks and shoes. Riley had the privilege of putting her own shoes on little Abrahm’s feet. We had the honor of visiting their home to meet their grandmother. Their home is a single room made of concrete with a mud floor. Their only furniture is a small mattress on the floor in the corner. A solitary light bulb hangs from the tin ceiling covered by spider webs. When we met their grandmother she told us she is a Christian. When we told her we had come to pray for her and share with her, she wept. We wanted her to know that God sees her. He hears her cries and He sent us to encourage her.
God saw Abrahm, Diego, and Ana’s needs and gave us the privilege of sharing with them. We were His ambassadors to San Pedro. We were His messengers. We got to tell them that the God of the universe sees them and He loves them very, very much.Later that night, Riley shared with me what God had taught her. He taught her that when you give something away (like the shoes she gave to Abrahm), “it’s not about how much I want it, it’s about how much someone else needs it”. What else do we have that is not meant to fulfill our wants but was provided by God to meet someone else’s needs? I look around and realize I have so much. Too much. We give away a bag full of dolls and stuffed animals for other children to enjoy this Christmas and we don’t even miss them. We clean out our closets to donate clothes to the homeless and can’t even remember what was there before. We give away coats and sweaters for families in the inner city and yet we still have plenty to keep us warm all winter. What if we gave sacrificially? That is my prayer for myself and my family this year. It’s my prayer for you, too. That God will show us that He has blessed us so that we can love, give, and share in His name, for His glory. I pray we will give until it feels like sacrifice and then come to realize that when we give for the good of others and the glory of God, it’s actually no sacrifice at all.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Saying Goodbye to Juliet
After spending the morning at Katie’s, we headed back to Renee’s home/clinic. I was so eager to check on Juliet. She woke up from her nap and I helped her mom change and dress her. It hurt her so much to be touched and she cried the whole time. After she was dressed, her mom let me pick her up and she immediately stopped crying. I’m not sure I can put into words the way it felt to see her again. She was so small. Her skin still had open sores all over, especially under her arms. She never smiled or made eye contact. I held her and she put her head on my chest. I wondered if she remembered me.
Melanie and I read to her. I sang to her and talked to her. I prayed and prayed over her. At the end of the afternoon, it was time to leave. It was so hard to give her to her mother. Her mother took her from me but didn’t soothe her or comfort her. She quickly put her down on the floor as she prepared to give her a cup of milk. How can a mother’s heart not break for her suffering little girl? I can’t imagine a life so hard, so tough, that a mother’s heart becomes calloused toward her own baby. Oh what I wouldn’t do to be able to bring Juliet home with me. To hold her and love her and watch her grow. To see her healed, running, playing, and laughing. What would she look like if she could stand, walk, even run? What would her face look like if she smiled? Would her eyes twinkle? What would her voice sound like if she laughed or sang? It physically hurt to say goodbye to her.
I could only trust that I was leaving her in the arms of One who loves her infinitely more than I do…
Amazima with Katie Davis
Saturday we had the joy and privilege of visiting Katie Davis’ ministry, Amazima. Katie’s ministry provides sponsors for children so that they can attend school, receive food, and receive medical care. Most importantly, these children are shown that they are dearly loved by God. They hear the good news that Jesus has died for their sins so that they can be in an intimate relationship with God. They are discipled as they come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Every Saturday morning, the children gather for a Bible study, eat lunch, and take home a big bag of food for their family. I have followed Katie’s blog (www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com) for over two years now. This is where my love for Uganda began! We have the privilege of sponsoring one of Katie’s children. Her name is Carolyn and she has just started boarding school. This is a great luxury for her and we are humbled to contribute to her education. Since she was away at school, I didn’t get to meet her but I was able to leave a special package and a letter with the social worker who knows Carolyn well.
To be perfectly honest, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I expected to be star struck when we met Katie. She is one of my greatest heroes of the faith and I have long been in awe of her testimony. As soon as we arrived, Katie greeted us. She asked for a piece of gum to mask her “coffee breath”. I opened my backpack and replied “bubble or spearmint?” She laughed out loud as she said, “Oh, you Americans”. I guess it was pretty funny to be standing in Uganda, Africa with a backpack full of snacks, a jacket, some wet wipes, hand sanitizer, mosquito repellant, pens, journal, and more than one flavor of gum. She gratefully accepted a piece of spearmint gum. So it turns out that Katie is pretty normal, down-to-earth, and funny. She doesn’t wear a halo after all. She’s simply a young woman who has abandoned everything for a Savior who is worthy of her sacrifice. I’m still in awe…in awe of her almighty, all powerful, all loving, all gracious God.
After receiving a boiled egg for breakfast and playing with us, the children participated in an amazing Bible study. They worshiped, laughed, and listened attentively as the Gospel was taught through Scriptures and powerful story-telling. After the lesson, the children received a huge plate of boiled chicken, rice, and beans for lunch. Then they were given a bag of food and flour to take home to their families. It was so amazing to see firsthand what God is doing to break the cycle of poverty and rescue these children in Uganda.
To be perfectly honest, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I expected to be star struck when we met Katie. She is one of my greatest heroes of the faith and I have long been in awe of her testimony. As soon as we arrived, Katie greeted us. She asked for a piece of gum to mask her “coffee breath”. I opened my backpack and replied “bubble or spearmint?” She laughed out loud as she said, “Oh, you Americans”. I guess it was pretty funny to be standing in Uganda, Africa with a backpack full of snacks, a jacket, some wet wipes, hand sanitizer, mosquito repellant, pens, journal, and more than one flavor of gum. She gratefully accepted a piece of spearmint gum. So it turns out that Katie is pretty normal, down-to-earth, and funny. She doesn’t wear a halo after all. She’s simply a young woman who has abandoned everything for a Savior who is worthy of her sacrifice. I’m still in awe…in awe of her almighty, all powerful, all loving, all gracious God.
We spent the first hour or so just hanging out with kids. The girls loved to play with my hair but got frustrated pretty quickly with how fine it is. Obviously, my hair texture is completely opposite of theirs and they gave up on trying to braid it. They taught us some of their songs and enjoyed taking pictures with our cameras.
We hadn’t been there but a few minutes when a little boy, Kapata, climbed right up in my lap. He was PRECIOUS. I’m guessing he was 3-4 years old. He didn’t want to play with my camera like all the other children. He just wanted to be held.
We hadn’t been there but a few minutes when a little boy, Kapata, climbed right up in my lap. He was PRECIOUS. I’m guessing he was 3-4 years old. He didn’t want to play with my camera like all the other children. He just wanted to be held.
At one point, I got up to go talk to someone. I thought he would hop down and hold my hand as we walked. Instead of sliding out of my lap, he simply wrapped his legs around my waist. He was NOT getting down. I had a good laugh and happily toted Kapata around with me ALL morning long.
After receiving a boiled egg for breakfast and playing with us, the children participated in an amazing Bible study. They worshiped, laughed, and listened attentively as the Gospel was taught through Scriptures and powerful story-telling. After the lesson, the children received a huge plate of boiled chicken, rice, and beans for lunch. Then they were given a bag of food and flour to take home to their families. It was so amazing to see firsthand what God is doing to break the cycle of poverty and rescue these children in Uganda.
Friday, December 9, 2011
God's Gift for Daniel
Friday afternoon, as we were shopping in the local market, Royce (our trip leader) got sick and had a couple of episodes of vomiting. Therefore, he and his wife Sandra stayed at the hotel while the rest of us went to dinner that night. While Sandra was sitting on the covered deck reading her Bible, an employee named Daniel, approached her. He asked if she was reading the Bible and if she was a Christian. He told her that he is also a Christ follower. When asked how he came to be saved, Daniel shared that he had been participating heavily in witchcraft when God revealed Himself to Daniel and changed his life! Daniel found a small village church and has come to saving faith in Christ. However, he shared that he was sad to say he doesn’t have a Bible of his own.
Sandra shared this with the team when we returned from dinner. We joyfully invited Daniel to join our evening Bible study and were able to give him 4 Bibles for himself, his mother, and his church. I promise I have never witnessed such joy and gratitude! He could not stop thanking us. He was crying and grinning at the same time, hugging his new Bible, and thanking us and thanking us for the gift. He couldn’t wait to be able to read it for himself. He also noted, “my mother will be driven to excitement to have her own Bible!” I LOVE the African English! On a side note, Royce never got sick again. It was so evident that Royce and Sandra were meant to be at the hotel that evening. God had a gift for Daniel and He allowed them to deliver it.
Sandra shared this with the team when we returned from dinner. We joyfully invited Daniel to join our evening Bible study and were able to give him 4 Bibles for himself, his mother, and his church. I promise I have never witnessed such joy and gratitude! He could not stop thanking us. He was crying and grinning at the same time, hugging his new Bible, and thanking us and thanking us for the gift. He couldn’t wait to be able to read it for himself. He also noted, “my mother will be driven to excitement to have her own Bible!” I LOVE the African English! On a side note, Royce never got sick again. It was so evident that Royce and Sandra were meant to be at the hotel that evening. God had a gift for Daniel and He allowed them to deliver it.
Father to the Fatherless
Friday morning we spontaneously decided to visit Sonrise Baby Home and Sonrise Children’s Home, orphanages run by devoted Christ followers. We stopped first at the baby home, an orphanage for babies 2 and under. They were clean, well-fed, and obviously cared for. I expected it to break my heart. Instead I found myself praising God for this place of love and safety for these sweet babies to stay until someone takes them home to their forever family.
Julie (my sweet friend who is in the process of adopting from Uganda)
Melanie (my dear friend and our team pharmacist)
me and Johnny
The children’s home has a tiny, one-room medical clinic in the back. The nurse kept charts on each child and the little clinic was spotless. However, when she opened the medicine cabinet, it was nearly empty. She shared that she does all that she can to help the children but it’s obviously difficult without any antibiotics, pain relievers, or malaria medication. As we spoke, she held a little boy and told us in her African English, “he is having the malaria.” She noted that if she cannot help a sick child, the only other option is to take them into town to see a physician. Unfortunately this is not always possible because they cannot afford the gas to take them.
We left there knowing that we were supposed to help. As God would have it, one of our team members was a pharmacist (Melanie). We collected our money and the next day, Melanie led our team in purchasing antibiotics, basic pain relievers, and many other kinds of medications, including both oral and IV. Thankfully, in Uganda, you can purchase any medications without a prescription and because of God’s provision we had the expertise and resources to do just that. We estimated that we were able to provide the equivalent of $10,000 worth of medication! We asked Ivan, the orphanage director, to meet us in town and we surprised him with the medications plus the leftover funds. He was so grateful! He tearfully told us that he never asks anyone for money, he just prays to God, begging God to provide for the orphans. God used our down time and a spontaneous change in plans to provide for these children. He was orchestrating it all along! He put together the pharmacist, the visit, the funds, the timing, all for their good and His glory. What a privilege to witness the love of the Father toward the fatherless.
Ivan and some of the children
Blessed Be the Name of the Lord
Thursday we travelled back to Jinja to Renee’s clinic to reunite with our team members, Julie (physical therapist) and Vivian (pediatric nurse). We weren’t quite there yet when we passed Katie (Davis) on the road and she told us a little boy was in crisis at Renee’s. As with all the children at Renee’s, 2-year-old Hatim was admitted due to severe malnutrition. They had been nursing him back to health with a liquid protein diet. However, when they introduced solid foods to him again, his little body began to shut down. He was in cardiac distress and they were having trouble stabilizing him. Thankfully, one of our team members is a cardiologist so we rushed to the clinic. Melody went in and the rest of us stayed back, not wanting to interfere or be in the way. We spent the afternoon praying for Hatim, his mother, the medical team, and Renee. I am so burdened by the weight Renee carries day after day, night after night as she tries to save the lives of these precious children. God has, without a doubt, divinely equipped her for this ministry. He performs miracles through her as He saves children that hospitals turn away, parents abandon, and everyone labels “hopeless”. In the end, He is sovereign over both life and death. However, Renee’s heart breaks for every child that does not survive and I’m sure the enemy pounces on every attempt to cause her to question herself and her decisions. So as I prayed for Hatim, I prayed for Renee’s heart to be protected no matter the outcome. Hatim was stabilized and they watched carefully over him, taking shifts throughout the night.
Later on Friday, we got the call that Hatim had passed away. We all wept. Our hearts broke, especially for his mother who was pregnant with her second child due any day. The team had done everything possible. I believe God sent Vivian (nurse) and Melody (cardiologist) for this very purpose: to assure Renee that she is making good decisions and providing excellent care. These deaths are not her fault. She did not fail. Melody told us “I have 13 years more education than Renee and I have nothing to add to her treatment plan”. Hatim’s life was in God’s hands. All we can do is confess in the words of Job, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD”. Please pray for Hatim’s mother. Please pray for Renee and her ministry through Serving His Children. I have seen the miracles of healing with my own eyes and felt the weight of loss in my own heart. Renee is simply a young woman, living in obedience. Please stand with me in lifting her to the Father.
Left to Right: Melody, Renee, Vivian
Later on Friday, we got the call that Hatim had passed away. We all wept. Our hearts broke, especially for his mother who was pregnant with her second child due any day. The team had done everything possible. I believe God sent Vivian (nurse) and Melody (cardiologist) for this very purpose: to assure Renee that she is making good decisions and providing excellent care. These deaths are not her fault. She did not fail. Melody told us “I have 13 years more education than Renee and I have nothing to add to her treatment plan”. Hatim’s life was in God’s hands. All we can do is confess in the words of Job, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD”. Please pray for Hatim’s mother. Please pray for Renee and her ministry through Serving His Children. I have seen the miracles of healing with my own eyes and felt the weight of loss in my own heart. Renee is simply a young woman, living in obedience. Please stand with me in lifting her to the Father.
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