After spending the morning at Katie’s, we headed back to Renee’s home/clinic. I was so eager to check on Juliet. She woke up from her nap and I helped her mom change and dress her. It hurt her so much to be touched and she cried the whole time. After she was dressed, her mom let me pick her up and she immediately stopped crying. I’m not sure I can put into words the way it felt to see her again. She was so small. Her skin still had open sores all over, especially under her arms. She never smiled or made eye contact. I held her and she put her head on my chest. I wondered if she remembered me.
Melanie and I read to her. I sang to her and talked to her. I prayed and prayed over her. At the end of the afternoon, it was time to leave. It was so hard to give her to her mother. Her mother took her from me but didn’t soothe her or comfort her. She quickly put her down on the floor as she prepared to give her a cup of milk. How can a mother’s heart not break for her suffering little girl? I can’t imagine a life so hard, so tough, that a mother’s heart becomes calloused toward her own baby. Oh what I wouldn’t do to be able to bring Juliet home with me. To hold her and love her and watch her grow. To see her healed, running, playing, and laughing. What would she look like if she could stand, walk, even run? What would her face look like if she smiled? Would her eyes twinkle? What would her voice sound like if she laughed or sang? It physically hurt to say goodbye to her.
I could only trust that I was leaving her in the arms of One who loves her infinitely more than I do…
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